How to Support Your Student From a Distance

Even though your student is experimenting with independent choices, they still need to know that you are there and are available to talk over both everyday events as well as more difficult issues. Sometimes parents and other family members are tempted to check in with their students multiple times a day, which can be too much.  Others are afraid of interfering and go too long between calls, texts, video chats, or emails, which may also not be ideal.  Talk to your student about how much or little communication is reasonable, and remember that your student may be busy with new schedules and commitments as they adjust to being away from home. 

If you are concerned about your student, share your concern without conveying judgment. If you are asked for help or advice, offer it. Be wary of offering too much advice if it isn’t asked for. Be an active listener in the conversation. Consider discussing observations and feelings rather than opinions and advice. Express interest in your student’s life at college while being respectful of their independence. 

Being specific about finances at the outset may help avoid misunderstandings later. Work out a plan with your student for paying for tuition, fees, books, room, board, travel, recreation, and other expenses. Educate your student about credit card use.  Inexperienced users of credit cards can get into deep trouble quickly.

The transition to college-level coursework is difficult, so students who excelled in high school may struggle with academics in college. Be supportive rather than punitive if your student is struggling and direct them to the many academic resources on campus. Keep in mind that it is common for students to switch majors and take more than 4 years to graduate.

When your student is experiencing a problem, allow them to take an active and equal role in the problem-solving process. This will promote the development of the skills and confidence to tackle tough issues independently. There are a wealth of resources available at UCI to help your student succeed academically, socially and emotionally.  If your child experiences difficulties at UCI, they can get support and guidance from campus services such as the UCI Counseling Center, Learning Academic Resource Center, Center for Student Wellness and Health Promotion, the CARE Office, Academic Advising, Division of Career Pathways, Disability Resource Center, and many more